How to tear your husband away from your mother-in-law: advice from a psychologist. Family ties: Husband, Wife, Father-in-law, Mother-in-law, Father-in-law, Mother-in-law, Brother-in-law, Brother-in-law, Sister-in-law, Brother-in-law, Sister-in-law, Son-in-law, Daughter-in-law, Daughter-in-law. “I will raise my son differently!”

If you want your husband to love you, learn to please his mother. Iron rule! And to comply with it, you will have to carefully monitor your words. We have collected 20 phrases that are absolutely worth tabooing.

1. “You don’t understand anything about this! You are stuck in the Soviet Union!”

A phrase after which any mother-in-law will need validol. You have hurt your age and crossed out your happy youth. Moreover, they questioned the experience, which is clearly richer than yours.

2. “I will raise my son differently!”

And here there is a blow on several fronts at once. Firstly, you are hinting to your mother-in-law that her son is not a gift. Secondly, that she is a lousy mother. The question arises: and how did you manage to marry her (so terrible!) son?

3. “Mom didn’t teach me this way!”

Without a doubt, your mother is ideal. Continue to think this way, but don’t say anything to your mother-in-law.

4. “Now I’m his main woman!”

Competing with your husband's mother is useless. Do something more cunning: build a pedestal for her and simply observe the situation in the family. We guarantee that conflicts will decrease.

5. “Your mama’s boy has grown up!”

Ugh. After this phrase, you will quarrel not only with your mother-in-law, but also with your spouse.

This way you will hint that everything is very bad in her family. The mother-in-law will be offended. On the other hand, your reluctance to listen to the advice of an adult woman can be regarded as youthful maximalism.

7. “If I had known that he had such a mother, I would not have gotten married!”

Such complaints against a person who has never sought communication with you sound surprisingly strange. She should not live up to your expectations: sit with her grandchildren, cook lasagna and keep quiet. If you're lucky, that's great, if not, bite your tongue.

8. “The night cuckoo will snack on the day!”

Be well-mannered! And don’t expose your own mother to this phrase.

9. “It’s so good that the children took after me!”

And if I rephrase: I don't want my children to be like their father. A logical question that a mother-in-law will have: does she love my son?

10. “We can handle it ourselves!”

You reject the help of an experienced person. Listen, thank, analyze and do as you see fit.

11. “Be grateful that your son got me!”

Oh, you are an ideal, and her son is Ivanushka the Fool. Will you silently listen to how someone offends your child?

12. “I’m packing my bags!”

Were you ready to start a family? It turns out that at the first disagreement you wash your hands! Support your spouse and demand less.

13. “You should take your granddaughter to the zoo at least once!”

“I'm a disgusting grandma”, the mother-in-law will think. If she really isn't the best grandmother, keep the criticism to yourself.

14. “You don’t know him!”

No, she knows him. In any case, the mother-in-law did not beg to marry her son. This is your choice!

15. “Your son is stupid, fat, doesn’t know how to joke, a loser!”

Firstly, when the opportunity arises, the mother-in-law will convey these words to her son. Secondly, she will always remember them. Thirdly, what have you done to make your husband more educated, fit, witty and successful?

16. “Your Sashka (Pashka, Grishka)!”

Even if you and your husband are used to addressing each other this way, your mother-in-law may decide that you do not respect her son.

17. “My borscht tastes better than yours!”

She cooked it with the best intentions, so be grateful and eat. For gifts (appropriate or not), don’t forget to say “ Thank you”.

18. “He never bought me a diamond necklace!”

She may accuse you of being wasteful. Her son works hard, and all you can think of is how to spend his salary!

19. “I was walking, and my husband was sitting with the children.”

In the eyes of your mother-in-law, you will not seem like a very good wife. After all, it’s unfair that you “partyed” until the night, and her son was bored in the company of a small child.

20. “He doesn’t do anything around the house!”

You won't get any sympathy. In her eyes, her son is a plowman, and your place is behind the stove, washing machine and with a mop in your hands. It’s good if you work, but if you sit at home with your child, run away from reproaches.

Olga Yurkovskaya specially for https://dni.ru

The topic of relationships with mother-in-law is much less anecdotal than “mother-in-law,” but the number of tragedies, family scenes and divorces in seemingly strong marriages due to the fault of mothers-in-law is off the charts. The reason for this is the man’s excessive infantilism, often superimposed on the parallel authoritarianism of his mother and the moral immaturity of his wife. The result is either the years of the Cold War, periodically accompanied by domestic sabotage, or a wedding, scandals and a ceremonial division of property. Let's figure out how to solve this problem. Once and for all.

Divide and don't let conquer

First rule building a good relationship with your mother-in-law sounds like this: it’s absolutely impossible to live together. A man should not be torn between opposing social roles - husband and son. For his mother, at any age, he is a child, small, in need of care and the best in the world. And for the wife, he is a protector, the head of the family and the father of their children together. And, if these roles constantly bump into each other, conflict in the head is inevitable. Therefore, under no circumstances should you live under the same roof with your in-laws. Even if you can't afford to rent an apartment, rent a dorm room, but separate yourself.

Realize that your mother-in-law, even the best in the world, will never be your friend. Don't indulge yourself with illusions. You took her beloved boy away from her, he now gives you most of his love, his time and attention. He buys you gifts, lives with you, takes care of you. Therefore, if you are constantly in front of your mother-in-law, jealousy is inevitable. As well as grievances and attempts to pull the blanket over oneself. Only one mother-in-law will do this demonstratively, impudently, and the other will do it gradually, sometimes without even realizing that “wishing well,” she is crossing the boundaries of what is essentially someone else’s family. And then there is a 99% chance that the marriage will either break up or turn into family hard labor. So separate yourself. By any means.

When distance doesn't help...

I often have to remind you that a person's formal age (as written in the passport) does not matter. You can live until retirement and still have the brain level of a teenager. It is quite possible that the mother-in-law is as intelligent as a fifteen-year-old girl, but considers herself a woman of wisdom and experience. And you, due to a lack of understanding of how to deal with this, are lost.

If the situation is familiar, second rule building a good relationship with your mother-in-law - distance yourself emotionally, imagine that this is not your mother-in-law, but one of your unfamiliar neighbors. She calls you with incomprehensible claims, grievances, instructive and soul-saving conversations. It is unpleasant for you to communicate with her. How will you react? And, moreover, how will you perceive her chatter? Introduced? This is exactly what your reaction to your mother-in-law’s conversations should now be - this is a stranger to you. And she doesn’t wish you any “good”. Since her own life has not been successful, she cannot advise you anything smart, but she is offended because you live better than she does.

Rule three : Live your life, and let your mother-in-law live hers. She is not your daughter to raise or feel sorry for. Her own adult choice in favor of immaturity is not your concern. Your task is to protect yourself and your family from the toxic influence of a stranger to you personally, I emphasize, an infantile person.

Read Karen Pryor’s book “Don’t Growl at the Dog” and use this book to decide which topics of conversation you like and which ones you are not interested in. And how will you stop talking about topics you don’t like? Explain what topics you are ready to talk about and what you are not - and let this decision become the sixth rule in your relationship with your mother-in-law. And act in accordance with these conditions. If you don’t take the initiative, your husband’s mother will blow your mind with her interests and talk to provoke you into emotions.

Some people manage to create passion even during a telephone conversation. If you don't manage this conversation, your mother-in-law may explore sensitive topics and step on her pet peeves. If you politely tolerate it, she will drive a tractor over your feelings, hurt you incredibly painfully, but a well-mannered girl will cry, lick her wounds and politely pick up the phone again so that it all happens again.

Tired of it? Write your own conversation script. You are an intelligent and mature woman, so communicate according to the scenarios that suit you and stop unpleasant dialogues. No one is forcing you to have a conversation you don't like. You are not being interrogated by the Gestapo, you are free to interrupt the conversation and leave. Learn to take responsibility for your condition and well-being and teach other people to respect your comfort.

She's a grandmother!...

Fourth rule building a good relationship with your mother-in-law calls for remembering that public opinion and established stereotypes are often wrong. Women are afraid to limit communication with their mother or mother-in-law under the pretext “she’s a grandmother, she loves her grandchildren.” Yes, grandma, but, alas, she doesn’t always love. For many grandmothers, love does not appear, something does not work out. Grandmothers may well not experience love on demand. Moreover, you are nobody to her; she may well not love you, but quietly hate you.

However, public opinion says that ignoring the grandmother is “not good”, and she appears in the house under the pretext of communicating with her grandchildren, but in fact - for the sake of keeping public opinion happy. At the same time, a grandmother can bring so much negativity that after her you and your children may even get sick. Do you remember if there are any such patterns? What did she come, say nasty things to you or the children and leave happy, but you have a headache? And most often she attacks you - under the pretext, of course, of being kind. She’s a dear person, how can she give bad advice?

Maybe. And unconsciously. If a grandmother distances herself from her grandchildren or does dirty tricks over little things, there is only one conclusion - distance yourself. A person who truly loves will not intrusively interfere with aggression, he will find ways to interact pleasantly and for pleasure. And this communication will be joyful, unburdensome. If any conversation or any meeting with the older generation turns into hell, a stream of negativity, claims or reproaches - remove this poison from the life of your family, do not poison yourself.

It’s somehow inconvenient to leave an elderly person

Fifth rule building a good relationship with your mother-in-law will be useful in relationships with all relatives and friends without exception. It's about not allowing anyone to treat you badly. This behavior needs to be weaned off or communication reduced to zero. The ability to communicate is a necessary skill that every adult should and can develop. If the opportunity to talk with you or your grandchildren is important to your mother-in-law, she should do everything to be pleasant for you. Find at least one reason why a woman who is a stranger to you gets the right to control you, give ridiculous advice and ruin your mood? Why do you need this? You don't need anything from your mother-in-law. And her relationship with her own son is none of your business. Your job is to ensure that the husband defends the interests of his wife and family, and not his mother. As long as it protects, there is nothing to worry about.

If the husband doesn't understand this

Your mother-in-law is a stranger, says sixth rule. This is his mother. If he wants to communicate with her, let him go to visit or go to theaters with her and communicate. And you mind your own business. If you do not force your husband to tolerate your mother-in-law, then he should not force your mother-in-law on you. If your husband doesn’t think so, most likely you yourself are not sure about the correctness of the decision not to see his mother. You, too, have been taught for many years the social standards of Soviet society, in which elders must be respected, even if they behave like impudent teenagers.

Sometimes, in response to a desire to stop communicating, they may begin to accuse you of insulting your mother-in-law. Answer yourself, how can it be an insult to not communicate with someone else’s woman, who is not your mother at all? Where is the logic in this statement? There are seven billion people on the planet - who else have you insulted by not communicating with them? These are strangers to you, just like your husband’s mother. You didn’t choose her to start a family and you didn’t decide to live happily ever after with her. You might as well not communicate with your husband's brother, his aunt, grandfather, cousin and ex-girlfriend.

If you are confident in your decision, no one will move you from your position. Let's say you are sure that children should only be had in an official marriage - and you cannot be forced to give birth before the stamp in your passport. But what about alimony, if anything, and what if, who knows how life will turn out?

In a situation with your mother-in-law, if you are looking for approval from me - here it is, I approve of your decision to share communication. Share. Organize your mother-in-law's visits so that you are not at home at the time. Go away. Don't go visit her. Your husband will spend time with his mother, but you have no use for it.

Give yourself permission to do things your own way - rule number seven and for all time, if you want to be happy. Without doubting, without worrying and without thinking that maybe you are wrong? You're right. 100% That's the right decision. The rest of the family system will adjust and will be forced to accept your position. And while you yourself doubt, you end up with these games in which you are manipulated, and you are a puppet bouncing under the hands of others.

Songs are written, films are made, and plays are staged about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Thousands of new families are created every day. And almost every family has the same problems: “unbearable mother-in-law.”

Notice they don’t say “unbearable daughter-in-law.” Because the well-being of the family hearth is in the hands of the daughter-in-law. It depends on the daughter-in-law how her relationship with her mother-in-law will develop. The main thing in all this is not to start a conflict from the first day of acquaintance. To avoid this, we wrote this article especially for you. So, how to mend a damaged relationship with your mother-in-law?

2 main rules for a daughter-in-law:

1. First What a daughter-in-law needs to understand in a relationship with a “difficult mother-in-law” is that the mother-in-law is not fighting with her, but for the place that the daughter-in-law now occupies in her son’s heart. Previously, his mother was the main woman in his heart, now his wife. There is no need to try to replace your husband’s mother, take your place in his life, the place of a wife.

2. Second, don’t forget, constant complaints to your husband about your mother-in-law, her words and behavior negatively affect your relationship with him, but not his relationship with his mother. If you can improve your relationship with your mother-in-law, you will see your husband breathe a sigh of relief (maybe he will even tell you about it). After all, he is also a person and it was hard for him too all this time that you were fighting.

The main misconception of daughters-in-law is that we all believe that now all the attention and love of our husband is devoted only to us, and mother is a thing of the past. The son has grown up and now has a new woman in his life. ALWAYS put yourself in your mother-in-law's shoes! After all, it was this woman who raised the man you fell in love with and married.

Golden mother-in-law

1. If you live in different apartments. Of course, living in the same territory will have the most unfavorable effect on your relationship with your mother-in-law. This has been tested repeatedly by the experience of many families. Well, what can you do, because sometimes a young family has nowhere else to go except to the parental home.

With rare exceptions, living in the same apartment, you will live together. Because there are at least 2 housewives in the kitchen, different food preferences, and their own cleaning schedules.

Agree, sometimes after 6 days of work you want to come home and relax a little, put your feet up on the sofa, and watch a couple of episodes of your favorite TV series, and put off cleaning until Sunday morning. But your mother-in-law may not appreciate such behavior and consider you a slob, a lazy person, etc.

1. She still has children. You will undoubtedly be lucky if your husband is not the only child of his mother. And it would be even better if he had a sister. Then his mother will be more tolerant and restrained, since she is both mother-in-law and mother-in-law.
2. If your mother-in-law is a mega busy person. She has her own business or is always passionate about her favorite activities. In this case, she simply will not have time to think about making comments to you. She will most likely bore you with her stories about hobbies or work, but not with the fact that Olezhik has a dirty shirt or that you are swaddling her grandson incorrectly.

If you have such a mother-in-law, then congratulations. You are very lucky! Further information in the article is not for you, but for those who have not a mother-in-law, but a monster.

There may be difficulties if:

1. You and your husband live in the same apartment with your mother-in-law.
2. Your husband is the only child in the family.
3. Your husband is a late and long-awaited child.
4. His mother raised him alone, working 3 jobs.
5. My mother-in-law is retired and has no interests or hobbies.

From the first time you meet, find out from your mother-in-law how she wants you to call her: by her first name, patronymic (most priority), “mom,” or simply Lena, as well as “you” or “you.” For some mothers, this may be a fundamental issue.

How to live with your mother-in-law

1. Politeness kills on the spot. Do not be fooled by provocations, always be polite and tactful.

2. Find common interests. Yes, sometimes this can be difficult to do because of the difference in age, life principles, etc. But it’s worth a try! Maybe your mother-in-law does not accept being treated like a person from the last century. Maybe she strives to be on par with young people: she loves shopping, watching modern sitcoms, going to training or doing yoga, etc. Invite her to the theater, go shopping or to the spa together. After all, she is also a woman and nothing feminine is alien to her.

3. Under no circumstances complain to your husband about your mother-in-law! It is difficult for him to take sides. Even if she was a bad mother and her relationship with her son was not always ideal, he will still love her, just as your child loves you. He will try to remain neutral, but in the end he will not stand it, and this will affect your relationship with him, and not his relationship with his mother.

Even if the husband himself does not speak flatteringly about his mother, most often he does not allow other people to do this, even his beloved wife.

It is even more dangerous to put your husband before a choice: either me or your mother. One woman raised him for 30 years, poured her soul into it, and he loves the other with all his soul. A man can have many wives, but only one mother. This is only your war with her, and the main weapon in it is your cunning!

In my friend’s family, the mother could not calm down that her son was taken away by SOMEONE. She went to great lengths: she faked migraines, fainting spells, seizures, in general, she did everything so that her son would gallop home. And what?! Ultimately, this respectable uncle, successful in his profession, returned to his mother’s wing, and the relationship broke down.

Even if you rarely communicate with your mother-in-law, still call her and ask about her affairs. Tell your news briefly, ask her more.

Remember the main rule: everyone loves talking about themselves!

Invite her to lunch or for a walk, of course she is unlikely to agree, but you can safely tell your husband that you are calling his mother, are interested in her affairs, and are inviting her to visit. And the next time she complains to her son about how ungrateful and generally a bitch you are, her husband will understand that this is not so, because you were the first to make contact. 1:0 in your favor!

4. Mothers-in-law, whose golden boy was “torn from her breast,” find it very difficult to bear when they are no longer needed by their now adult son. And then some girl tied him up. Therefore, the main disarming effect in this situation will be that you show her that she is not abandoned and is not indifferent to you. Call her yourself: on your birthday, before your arrival, or just to get advice on what to buy your father-in-law for his anniversary. It costs you nothing, but it pleases her.

5. Don't build a coalition with the husband's sister or the husband's brother's wife, against the obnoxious mother-in-law. The situation here is unstable and may turn against you. Of course, you can, from time to time, discuss Elena Pavlovna’s stories, but do not make joint plans to ignore or take revenge.

6. Praise your mother-in-law and/or her son more often. It seems that you have nothing to thank her for, because you can’t find such a shrew! Let your praise be even for small things, for example, “it’s probably thanks to Olezhik’s mother that she cooks pilaf so deliciously” or “if it weren’t for Elena Pavlovna, I wouldn’t have realized that I needed to take a spare suit for my son on the road.” Even if it’s hard for you to say all this. Gritting your teeth, smile at her, praise her. In the end, this will make you feel better that you haven’t ruined your mood again.

7. Compliment your mother-in-law more often. Even if here it seems to you that she did not deserve compliments for her boorish behavior. This will discourage her. The more often you practice this, the faster you will learn to compliment her naturally, and as a result, you will receive a good attitude towards you and approval of your relationship.

You can compliment her salad or the delicious tea she treated you to last time, or how beautiful her hair looked at the wedding, how did she achieve that hair color?! In general, think! This is your weapon in the program of strengthening family relationships.

Even if the relationship has deteriorated already at the initial stage, it is never too late to pull yourself together, grit your teeth, forget your principles for 5 minutes, call and ask your mother-in-law “where she bought that coffee,” even if you hate coffee.

8. Don't complain about your mother-in-law's husband. Thus, you convey to her the information “you raised a worthless man.”

9. Don’t involve children in conflict. Children are children. It's not their fault that you are fighting with their grandmother. And even more so, they don’t understand why they should communicate with her less. Even if the relationship is unbearable, do not prohibit children from communicating with their grandmother. In addition, the mother-in-law will be pleased if her grandson comes to her and says that he drew this drawing for her, and his mother helped him (of course, if there is no devil on wheels).

10. But you don’t need to be too frank with your mother-in-law.. If the relationship goes bad, all knowledge about you will turn against you and will be used by your mother-in-law on the battlefield.

11. Be wise, tolerant, cunning and learn to compromise. Help your mother-in-law with anything, for example, take her home from the hospital or help her with seedlings in the country. Good deeds lift your spirits, and besides, you may need her help someday. But there is no need to sacrifice your interests either. Learn to tactfully and politely refuse if you really don't feel comfortable helping her at the moment.

12. Avoid getting personal and conflict situations in general. Grit your teeth, assent, agree that you are a worthless woman, this will discourage your mother-in-law. She simply will not continue the argument, as she will be disarmed.

13. Do not under any circumstances interfere with your husband’s communication with his mother.. Don't dictate to him when and how much he should communicate with her. Remember: mom is mom. Parents are not chosen.

By accepting your husband, you accept his entire family: mom, dad, grandmother, brothers, etc.

Golden rules that will help you improve your relationship with your mother-in-law.

What should I do if I don’t want to communicate with my mother-in-law? More on this in the next video!

The son has long become independent, and his mother is still trying to look after him, calling him, giving advice - alas, the situation is so common that millions of women begin to think about how they can get their mother-in-law away from their husband, so that this woman will finally stop interfering in their lives . Today, a professional psychologist gives advice to women on this topic.

How to get your mother-in-law away from your husband and reduce her influence

“I’m married, no children. My problem is my relationship with my mother-in-law. The fact is that I am very independent, I achieved everything in life myself, I made all life decisions without the participation of my parents - that’s how I was raised.

The husband was raised differently, all decisions in his family are made by his mother, and both he and his older sister are accustomed to “locating” problems on their mother, who, with tenacity and fighting spirit, rushes into battle and smashes any obstacles in her path, solving any problems with one blow.

And now, when I have my own family, I seem to live independently, separately from my parents and his, I am forced to think about how to get my mother-in-law away from my husband. Out of habit, the husband takes everything “for judgment” to his mother, who, also out of habit, decides with a powerful combat attack.

And all my logical arguments about solving the problem are shattered by her impenetrable “armor” of words: “What are you telling me here, I’ve done this all my life and I’m not going to do it differently.” The relationship with my mother-in-law became unbearable.

The worst thing is that my habit of living independently now interferes with family relationships with my husband. For him, his mother was and remains an indisputable authority, and he motivates everything simply: “She won’t wish me harm - she’s a mother after all!” (some kind of personality cult!)

An attempt to discourage the mother-in-law from her husband and explain to her husband that she sees his current life rather one-sidedly, that she cannot take into account all the nuances, since after all, this is our family life, not hers, that she can make mistakes and draw the wrong conclusions, no which didn’t lead to. He either consults with her and his decision is completely her decision, or he refuses to do anything at all, relying on me. The result is conflicts. Dina Vitkovskaya."

Psychologist Elena Poryvaeva answers how to get your mother-in-law away from her husband:

Alas, this cannot be explained to my mother-in-law. Because she basically won’t want to and won’t be able to understand this. In her understanding, her son will always be a little boy who needs his mother's care and mother's advice.

Perhaps you married a big child so you could remain independent. Because due to our double morality, we often have two extremes: either a macho man who communicates with his wife according to the principle “shut your mouth, woman, when horsemen are talking,” or a man-child who wants to see his wife as a mommy and only for that reason initially ready to listen to her. Of course, there is a “golden mean”, but it must be sought and even created somewhere. And you may have unconsciously preferred one of the extremes.

But now it should be noted that it will be difficult to discourage the mother-in-law from her husband and it is useless to expect such a husband to express his opinion. He simply doesn’t have his own opinion - only his mother’s! In addition, he is completely uncritical of the behavior of his own parent (this condition usually occurs in children from about one to three years old, but in other individuals, as you can see, it sometimes remains for the rest of their lives).

You write that you are trying to teach him. First of all, sorry, it's late. And secondly, as soon as you start teaching and raising him, you immediately cause a natural hostile reaction from your mother-in-law, because you become her rival and competitor - after all, only a mother can raise this child. And you are thus encroaching on her place!

You ask: “How to get a mother-in-law away from her husband and who makes decisions in the family - us or her.” But, excuse me, there is no “we” in your family yet - there is you, your husband and his mother, and your question essentially sounds different - who makes the decisions, you personally or her? That is, you are actually asking your spouse to make a choice between you and your mother. The situation is very dangerous. If only because an infantile boy, being backed up to the wall, will choose his mother only out of a sense of self-defense...

The first option: grab your husband under the arm like a little boy and drag him away from his mother, beyond her reach. That is, in fact, replace the wife’s mother.

The second is divorce.

The third is to become your mother-in-law’s daughter, indulge her in everything and obey her. Then she will stop being afraid of you and begin to love you, but in her own way, just like her son, without giving you any independence.

And the fourth - you mentioned it yourself: learn diplomacy. Don’t shout, excuse me, into trouble, but subtly manipulate the situation.

How to get your mother-in-law away from her future husband

“I’m 28 years old, my boyfriend is a year and a half younger than me, but that’s not the point. We've been together for a year now. We lived in different cities, and I often stayed with him. As a result, my relationship with his mother did not work out, and, despite his crazy love for me, our relationship changed.

I know he loves me and the fact that he respects his mother is important to me, but I constantly feel her influence on our relationship. If earlier she suggested that he leave with me and rent an apartment, now that I live alone, she is offended that he is almost never at home. His mother is a manipulator, I don’t know how to get my mother-in-law away from her future husband and what to do... Alexandra Galuza.”

Psychologist Elena Poryvaeva answers how to get your mother-in-law away from her future husband:

Alexandra, I’m afraid that in this situation your role is that of a passive observer. Interfering in the relationship between your man and his mother is a thankless task. He is almost 27 years old, he is not married and he has a very affectionate relationship with his mother - this already says a lot.

At the very least, I would have a suspicion that this is not the first time that a mother has interfered in her son’s personal life, since most guys at this age are more likely to be “no longer married” than “not yet married.” Not everything, of course, but...

In general, based on the totality of the “symptoms,” it will be difficult to push the mother-in-law away from her husband, because his mother is a manipulator, an owner, who is burdened by the very thought that her “boy” might love someone more than her. Hence your problems with her.

By definition, she will not be able to treat you well, since for her you are a rival who wants to “steal” her “man” from her. The situation is very similar to the love triangle “wife - husband - mistress”.

But “a wife is not a wall,” and in general, in one man’s life there can be many wives, but there can be only one mother. Actually, it is precisely this logic that such mothers operate with. It is curious that they themselves are very afraid of growing old, they do not want grandchildren who will “make them grandmothers,” and the grandchildren who are nevertheless born are treated either coolly or as the children of their son, and not the children of their son and daughter-in-law.

In short, the most you can do is not to discourage your mother-in-law from her husband, but to talk to your man, explaining to him your concerns. Calmly (but sadly) tell him everything you feel: that you don’t want to come between him and his mother, but you also don’t want his mother to come between you.

Ask him how he sees your future together. In this situation, this question is quite appropriate. And what happens next depends only on your man, on how much he loves you and wants to be with you. And, of course, it depends on how psychologically mature he is. If he is a “mama’s boy,” run away from him before it’s too late.

I remember one “train conversation”: a neighbor in the compartment complained about her mother-in-law, who almost every day, under various pretexts, dragged her son over after work. Either her shelf fell, or she twisted her ankle, or she needed to buy some medicine that wasn’t sold in her pharmacy, or something else.

And so almost every day. The woman no longer knew how to get her mother-in-law away from her husband. After work, the husband went straight to “mom”, and appeared at home either very late (mom also fed dinner), or even stayed overnight with her. The situation did not change even after the birth of the child. The husband was still a “son” and remained so.

And all the conversations on the topic “you have your own family; Mom is manipulating you” ended in scandals and the words “Mom always told me that you don’t like her.” I hope you don't find yourself in a similar situation! Good luck to you!

1. Husband (spouse)- a man in relation to the woman he is married to
2. Wife (spouse)- a woman in relation to the man she is married to. Married woman.
3. Father-in-law- wife's father
4. Mother-in-law- wife's mother
5. father-in-law- husband's father
6. Mother in law- husband's mother
7. brother-in-law- Brother husband
8. Brother-in-law- brother-in-law
9. Sister-in-law- husband's sister
10. Brother-in-law- sister-in-law's husband
11. sister-in-law- wife's sister
12. Son-in-law- daughter's husband, sister's husband, sister-in-law's husband
13. Daughter-in-law- a brother’s wife, a son’s wife for his mother, one brother’s wife in relation to another brother’s wife; also used instead of daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, sister-in-law
14. Daughter-in-law- son's wife in relation to father
15. Matchmaker- the father of one of the spouses in relation to the parents of the other
16. Matchmaking- the mother of one of the spouses in relation to the parents of the other
17. Grandfather (grandfather)- father of father or mother.
18. Grandmother (grandmother)- mother of father or mother.
19. great uncle- father's or mother's uncle.
20. Great-aunt- father's or mother's aunt.
21. Grandson, granddaughter)- son (daughter) of a daughter or son in relation to a grandfather or grandmother. Accordingly, a cousin’s grandson (granddaughter) is the son (daughter) of a nephew or niece.
22. Great-nephew (niece)- grandson (granddaughter) of a brother or sister.
23. Uncle (uncle, uncle)- brother of father or mother, husband of aunt.
24. Auntie (auntie, auntie)- sister of father or mother in relation to nephews. An uncle's wife in relation to his nephews.
25. Nephew niece)- son (daughter) of a brother or sister (siblings, cousins, second cousins). Accordingly, the child of a cousin (sister) is a cousin nephew, and a child of a second cousin (sister) is a second cousin.
26. Fraternal (brother, sister)- having a common mother.
27. Half-blooded (brother, sister)- having a common father, but different mothers.
28. Stepbrothers (brother, sister)- being a brother (sister) by stepfather or stepmother.
29. Cousin- the son of his own uncle or aunt.
30. Cousin- daughter of a native uncle or native aunt.
31. Second cousin- son of a great uncle or great aunt.
32. Second cousin- daughter of a great uncle or great aunt.
33. Godfather, godfather- godfather and mother in relation to the godson's parents and to each other.
34. Stepfather- the mother’s husband in relation to her children from another marriage, stepfather.
35. Stepmother- the father’s wife in relation to his children from another marriage, step-mother.
36. Stepson- a step-son of one of the spouses who is related to the other spouse.
37. Stepdaughter- a stepdaughter of one of the spouses who becomes the natural daughter of the other spouse.
38. Adoptive father (mother)- adopted, adopted someone.
39. Adopted son (daughter)- adopted, adopted by someone.
40. Adoptive son-in-law (primak)- a son-in-law adopted into the wife's family, living in the wife's house.
41. Widower- a man whose wife died.
42. Widow- a woman whose husband died.
43. Twin Cities- brothers, mostly cousins, friends who happened to help each other out in difficult times.