Postcards for women
How to understand that he doesn't care. How to understand if a man needs a woman: advice from psychologists. The main thing in your relationship is sex.

How to understand that he doesn't care. How to understand if a man needs a woman: advice from psychologists. The main thing in your relationship is sex.

No, this is not the very "first step" - it does not matter which of you takes it, if your feelings are mutual. We are talking about a situation in which a man behaves about the principle “I want something, but I don’t know what”, and you push him to a relationship. When we were little girls and talked to each other frankly, but very cruelly, it was called "You are running after him." Now we say, "You initiate a relationship." But the essence, in fact, does not change: offering a man a relationship and insisting on them are two big differences. And if you insisted, if you “sought” his love, then this is a sure sign that he is with you out of boredom.

The main thing in your relationship is sex.

That is, you never have meetings without sex. Your man will refuse to spend time with you unless the date ends in bed. He will not go to the movies with you on Sunday morning, so that right after the session he will leave before the next meeting. He will not go with you to a party after which he will have to go home. But he will not refuse to come to your house - in the event that you clearly invite him for the night.

But in bed he thinks only of himself

If there is a lot of sex in your life, but you do not get pleasure, most likely, you got into a relationship with a guy who does not care about you. And it is important to understand from the very beginning that the problem is not in you, but in him. How he treats you. A loving man may be a completely inept lover, but he cannot be inattentive. That is, if this guy really loved you, he would notice that something is wrong. If you see that a game with only one goal is being played in bed, it's bad.

He doesn't care about you

However, if sexual difficulties can still be attributed to a mismatch of temperaments, a man's inexperience, or even to your own intimate difficulties, then this number will not work with care: you just need to find yourself in a difficult situation once to understand why this man stays with you ... And we are not talking about any tragedies: it is enough just to catch a cold. He calls and asks how you feel? He asks if you need medicine? After work, does he come to your place and bring ready meals and some cute movie? If so, congratulations: he loves you. If not, alas: he has no feelings for you, he just kills time with you.

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He never says "we"

Speech is what betrays men in the first place. They know how to lie, they are able to come up with a legend and never fail at the discrepancy between small details, but it is the usual, daily conversations that give them away. He, of course, will use the pronoun "we", because you can't do without it, but it will always be said about the near future: "Are we going to the cinema tomorrow, or what?" But not: "When we go to the sea, we ..." There is no "we" in conjunction with "when." Because never. He knows that you will never have anything serious, so why say “we” about a future that will not be present?

He does not introduce you to loved ones

With friends, please. It may well be that he literally after the second date called you to his best friend's birthday. You should not flatter yourself: some men still perceive a woman as a trophy, and are not averse to showing her off to friends. The main indicator is the family: if you do not know anything about his loved ones and he is not going to introduce them, this is not a relationship, but their appearance.

He controls the time you spend together.

You rarely call him because you know that if he doesn't want to, he won't pick up the phone. And he will not answer the message either. He calls you when he wants to, and makes an appointment when it suits him. And easily cancels it, because "it so wanted." Then you can find out that he "wanted" usually means that he was having fun with friends somewhere.

He doesn't care what happens to you

Not the slightest hint of talk "for life": he is not interested in your family, your hobbies, your friends and your experiences. He only talks about what is happening at the moment with both of you. He may talk to you about the movie you just watched, but he will never ask who your favorite director is and why. If you yourself start a conversation about what bothers you, he will transfer the topic or listen to you silently, without reacting in any way. The worst thing is that at this moment you can feel guilty: why, they say, burden a man with your petty problems? In fact, only one person is to blame, and that's him. Basically, he is powdering your brains, you know?

And he is not ready to help you

No way. It is useless to complain to him that your laptop is broken, a tap is leaking, or you are being sent on a business trip, and you have absolutely no one to leave your cat with. Your man will come up with any excuse, but will not help you. At the same time, any means of influencing him will not help you: if you insist, "kitty will be offended", yes. And will ignore you until your problem is solved.

It is very common to see articles that list the signs that a guy is showing sympathy for you. However, in this article I would like to touch on the opposite: signs that indicate that a guy does not love you and, perhaps, you should break up. If you encounter the following signs in your relationship, then you may need to consider ending the relationship. After all, if there is no sympathy and people are indifferent to each other, then there is no point in continuing a relationship that has no future.

If you increasingly find yourself thinking, "My boyfriend doesn't love me ...", take a look at these signs. They will help you figure out if he really likes you.

Signs that a guy doesn't love

1. He is not "drawn" to you... Perhaps one of the important signs. It is he who determines whether this is your young man. If you have not ignited the fire of love in his heart and the guy is indifferent, if he does not feel attraction, then you will not build a happy relationship. You can make as much effort as you like to please, you can perform the most incredible acts, but if you are not in his heart, then you should not torture yourself. As you know, you can't be cute by force. And here feelings play the main role. Listen to your heart, it will never deceive. From the very thought of him, your heart should respond with a storm of positive emotions. You must literally become one with him.

2. He is "dry" in dealing with you... If he has no interest in you, then you are unlikely to get any interest in communicating with you. However, do not confuse lack of interest with temporary difficulties: perhaps your boyfriend is simply afraid to take the first step or thinks for a long time before answering you. Say, after a quarrel, there is neither a call nor a message from him. So what, he didn't like you? Or is he just afraid? The lack of interest is evident for a long time. You should see in general whether he has the time and opportunity to write, call, and how exactly he disposes of this opportunity or simply ignores it. Another indicator here is the fact that he is constantly trying to end your conversation, finds constant reasons to end it. And no matter how hard you strive to support communication, you do not see his own initiative.

3. He communicates with you the same way as with his friends... This is actually pretty easy to spot. If he always talks to you in a casual manner, similar to the way he interacts with his friends, then he is probably not your destiny. When a guy is interested, there is always at least a slight change in the way he talks to you; a change that proves that communication with you is pleasant to him. It can be a special voice, the use of words with diminutive-affectionate suffixes, a special intonation - or anything you like, except for monotony and indifference. The best thing you can do in this situation is to observe his behavior and his speech with other people. This will allow you to judge whether the way he acts with you is different from what you saw, and if it is, how much.

4. He freely tells you about the girls he likes.... Another wake-up call may be when a guy is not shy about telling you about past relationships, about the girls he considers ideal, and so on. However, this should not be confused with when it just slipped in to keep the conversation going (all guys do it from time to time, and it really isn't a big deal) or when you asked him to talk about an ended relationship yourself. However, if you are talking to a guy and he does not have any problems talking about all the girls he loves or loved, and all this happens with an enviable regularity, then you can take this as a clear sign that your chosen one is not the one. who do you need.

5. Body language never lies... If a guy avoids eye contact, sits far from you, does not try to establish bodily contact (take a hand, support on the steps), his conversation takes place without any gestures, or he keeps his distance from you, then you can regard all this as signs that he is not interested and does not want to have any relationship with you.

6. He doesn't want to look for free time for meetings.... You rarely meet, he constantly has excuses to reschedule the meeting. And this happens more than once or twice. This began to happen systematically. It must be remembered that someone who really wants to meet with you will do everything possible and impossible to make this meeting take place. And for him, neither the time of day, nor distance, nor employment will matter. As you know, whoever wants - is looking for an opportunity, who does not want - a reason ...

7. He's not only flirting with you... As noted above, the behavior of a guy with other people can be used to judge the importance of you in his life. Take a closer look at how he behaves in female society: does he go beyond what is permitted, what are his speech and gestures, is he flirting, is he trying to show himself in a more favorable light. Having found this, it is worth considering. Of course, one can assume that he is just a friendly, social, outgoing guy. However, if he behaves with other girls the same way as with you, then he has no particular interest in your society.

8. He hides his emotions and feelings.... If a guy has something for you, then he will certainly report his feelings sooner or later. And it's not even about words. This will be seen by himself (actions, look, speech). If the guy doesn't show any emotion, the best thing you can do is to give him some space and freedom. Just to make sure you don't waste your time on it. Let the initiative in the relationship go completely into his hands. If you don't see any special changes, then you will hardly wait for the continuation of these very relations ...

There are a number of obvious signals that unambiguously say that the chosen one of your heart does not love you. Perhaps he values \u200b\u200byour friendship, or is he just flattered by your interest in him? Perhaps he keeps you as an "alternate airfield", but at the same time does not think that he has any obligations towards you?

Well, here are ten of the clearest signs that the man you love has no “we” in your plans with you. Read carefully, and if there are more than two coincidences with your love story, then, believe me, these are no longer coincidences!

Monologue calls

How many of you dial each other's phone number more often? If there is an obvious imbalance on the face, this is not a good sign. In our gadgetized age, these simple things are very indicative: who calls whom first and sends sms-messages, writes letters and hangs cool cats on the wall. Even if your man is happy with your calls, but at the same time he does not need to dial your number himself - just like that or for an insignificant matter - something is wrong here! Well, and the obvious "telephone rule": if you didn’t answer the call, and he didn’t ask why - know: he put a big and thick "nothing" on you. Exactly the one that feels for you.

Freeze

Do you feel that your relationship is not moving or developing? You met on the Internet, every evening you have dates on Skype, but you haven't received an invitation to walk at least to the notorious Van Gogh exhibition in a couple of months? Bad sign! If you are colleagues at work and every day go to a business lunch together, but on weekends he always has things and plans in which you are not involved, you can go on the attack and take the initiative to clear your conscience. But be prepared for the fact that he has a hockey match with an amateur team, and it is not known at what stadium, so "he-he-can't-I'm-sorry-invite-you-can-be-sorry." Good advice: find yourself another comrade to eat borscht and cutlets together at work noon!

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Who's here?

The topics that a person raises in a conversation speak a lot both about what he breathes and about his attitude towards the interlocutor. You should be alerted if a man does not ask you about your favorite music and films, does not ask what flowers you like, what was your hobby in childhood, what you do at work, how you spend your free time. If you both have active social media profiles, admit it, it's a little strange if he doesn't like and comment on your posts. It is also significant when he knows that you are a vegetarian, but he brings you to a restaurant where you literally have nothing to profit from. And after his stories about ex-girls - and no matter in what way he speaks about them - all doubts about true feelings for you can be considered dispelled! He does not hear you, does not feel, does not understand, does not respect and, of course, does not love you.

Peacock instinct

Narcissistic and selfish people are incapable of deep feelings. But if a man does not try to show himself handsome in front of the woman he is interested in, does not try to "fluff his feathers", to convey to her the idea that he has many advantages and rare spiritual qualities - this is also very strange. It’s even worse if he allows himself to bloom in your presence and regularly complains about fate and bad people, allegedly constantly creating problems for him. Beating pity in order to induce a desire to save is somewhat different than showing yourself worthy of love and respect. Believe me, it's not love that drives him! Perhaps it is a desire to find grateful ears into which he will pour out his resentment against this cruel world. In general, the prognosis is poor.

Seven Sealed Mystery

You only go on dates and only the two of you. He avoids the opportunity to be in the company of your friends and is not eager to introduce you to the circle of people close to him. Getting to know the parents is out of the question. As a result, you alone go to the wedding of your own sister, because he is "shy", "does not know anyone there", and indeed - "hates weddings." A fairly typical situation: someone calls him on the phone, and the man sitting opposite you, when asked where he is and with whom, answers casually: "Yes, with no one." If you do not want to be “nobody” in the life of another person, it is high time to interrupt this story here and now. There will be no happy end.

Strange humor

It also happens that you seem to be together, but at the same time in the company you feel like a loner. Your beloved is actively flirting with other young ladies, does not look after you, and if he lost sight of you at a party, he is not looking for, not interested in what you are doing, and if you are bored. Things are even worse if he does not take your side in public disputes, and if you are frankly wrong, he does not try to smooth the situation. He watches with interest as you sit in a puddle. If someone rudely runs into you or teases you, he does not give out any harsh reaction, and even he himself does not mind making an offensive joke about you. This is no good! A man in love cannot be indifferent to the feelings and experiences of his chosen one.

Greedy

Maybe in some countries it is considered normal when in a pair both have separate wallets, but in our culture it is still accepted that a man pays, at least, for your coffee at Shokoladnitsa. Of course, the strength of feelings is not measured by the amount of money that the lover spends, but the psychology of a man is simple: he readily invests in what really interests him. Trust me, a normal man has a need to invest in a woman he wants to conquer, or whom he already considers his own! The exception is pathological greedy people, but you can get through them literally right away. A greedy man is not sexy. He must be thrown mercilessly. A man with whom it makes sense to build a relationship is generous and ready to throw the whole world at the feet of his beloved, even if he is not rich. Honestly, he will find an opportunity to make you gifts and pleasant surprises! He will offer his help and try to foresee your desires. If this does not happen, everything is sad.

Anti-sex

It is clear that people have different needs and opportunities for sex. But an ensuing relationship is the very case when desire seeks an opportunity, and indifference is an excuse. So if “your” man avoids intimacy in every possible way, he has a thousand urgent matters, he is constantly tired or not in the mood - something is wrong here! This does not mean at all that he has another. He just doesn't care about you as a woman. Another case is if a man is gentle and affectionate before sex and immediately loses interest in you after. If at the same time you notice that he, in principle, has begun to touch you less often - he does not try to hug, take your hand, his kisses blows a chill, and your attempts to fondle are ignored - get ready to leave! Sadly, there is hardly anything that will help here, and it’s not you or your "technique". There are practically no chances to rekindle the extinct passion, no matter how many "geisha trainings" convince you otherwise. And to light a fire that did not immediately flare up is a hopelessness not worth your time. You don't want a friend zone, do you?

The patient is more likely dead than alive

Everything was fine with you, as you thought. And suddenly he began to avoid meetings, forget about your requests, and instead of an intelligible reason for his forgetfulness, he presents some kind of helpless stories from the series "walked-fell-woke up-plaster." A man who is preparing to "merge" from a relationship suddenly deteriorates health: he regularly twists his legs, picks up a sore throat, poisons with potatoes at McDonald's. Terrible diseases fall on his grandmothers, aunts, friends and aquarium fish: you need to accompany or take them to hospitals, wait for the arrival of an ambulance, and wander around the city in search of a rare medicine. Catch him on rambling fictions? This is not a royal business! It's just time to say goodbye. No matter how bitter it is.

Who calls names - he is called so!

When everything is smooth in a relationship, and you communicate nicely, it may seem to you that "everything is going according to plan." Is this really so - the first quarrel will show. Just don’t provoke a conflict on purpose! Sooner or later, in any pair, a situation occurs when each of the two considers himself right and the other is not. How you will survive an acute situation, how reconciliation will take place, what words will you choose in order to dot the "Y", will show the true attitude of your man towards you, and will also tell a lot about his character. If it is important for him that his word is the last, if in the heat of his life he allows himself to offend you, becoming personal, if he goes into deep insult and forces you to humiliate yourself, blackmails by breaking, sets some conditions of reconciliation - just turn around and leave. Still, from a strong man, one should expect condescension to women's weaknesses and whims. In the same situation, there is not a word about love for anyone else, except for himself - a beautiful alpha male who needs to be served and please in everything. Such a man is either a notorious evil person or a weakling. In any case, he is not suitable for building long and lasting relationships.

So the sad truth has become apparent to you. He doesn't love you. It doesn't matter how long you've been together, how far your relationship has gone. Alas, it happens. Not every union of a man and a woman ends with a fairy tale where the heroes live happily ever after. Remember the ancient Indian proverb: "The horse is dead - get off!" Then you have two ways.

The first is how to suffer, get sick, cheer up and plunge back into a busy life, in which there will be wonderful adventures, interesting acquaintances and new relationships. And they will - do not even dare to doubt!

The second is the way in accordance with the eternal female mistake: to be aware of yourself only through the man who is nearby. But if you are sure that you have just lost the love of the man of your dreams, start the operation, codenamed "Falling in love with him again." There are no guarantees that everything will work out, and it is not known how long it will take. But you will do deep work on mistakes and work on yourself. Because you are valuable in yourself. There is no relationship in which you could invest - invest in yourself doubly. And so, the task for the next five-year plan has already changed constructively! - Become a super woman, the best version of yourself. And then you will see who you will need next. Maybe superman? For harmony.

I will tell you exactly what should not be done in any case:

do not humiliate yourself,
do not make a claim
do not scream
do not cry in front of him.

How could that help if he doesn't give a damn about you?

There is also no need to lead him to a "frank conversation": why learn from him that everything is over between you, if you yourself understood it?
You shouldn't bother him with calls and sms. You will only raise the degree of irritation with your person and convince the person of your inadequacy.
You don't have to go all out in order to knock out a wedge with a wedge - it's checked: it doesn't help.
Don't run on fortune tellers! This is no comment at all.

Incredible facts

Everything is not as difficult as you think.

Many women speculate, trying to understand why a man does not call or write.

Despite the obstacles a woman thinks might prevent a man from taking initiative, the real reason is that he doesn't like you enough. This must be understood immediately and forever.

He's not shy. You don't scare him. And he has no problem with self-esteem.

If a man is interested, no distance gets in his way.But if you are not interested in him, you can live in the next apartment, and it will be too far for him.

How to understand that a man likes you

A man has a strong desire to be proactive in a relationship. This is part of showing off his masculinity. He wants to get what he wants.

The man loves the chase. Believe me, when he sees what he wants, he starts chasing it. If the man you like is not stalking you, he is not interested in you.

Men can come up with thousands of excuses why they don't want to get women. They can say whatever they want, beat around the bush often so as not to hurt her feelings, and not directly say that he is not interested.

He may say that he is busy, that he has a blockage at work, that he has many other things to do, he may even simply disappear from your life.

He can be very handsome and his smile will drive you crazy. He can open the door in front of you and even ask you for a few dates.

But what about those incomprehensible messages that you don't know how to interpret? How about those times when you were trying to figure out what you did wrong and why it went missing for a while?

How a loving man behaves

Stop chasing after someone who isn't willing to give you time, who doesn't bother to talk to you.The moment you start to doubt whether you matter to him, you need to stop communicating with him.

Don't become a woman who lets men play with her mind, feelings and body. A woman should be confident enough in herself, know her worth and not waste time waiting for a man who is not ready to achieve her.

This may sound old-fashioned to you, but think about this. A man shows himself when he meets you, when he communicates, looks after and tries to impress you.

A real man will pursue you. He will motivate you to be better, he will admire you and your flaws. He will not use them against you when he is angry or annoyed, like an immature boy would. He will respect you no matter what.

He will help you get closer to your goals because he wants you to succeed. He wants you to be happy.

A real man does not play with his feelings, like with a toy, and will not ask you out on a date only when it is convenient for him.

We can all be busy, but if he really cares about you, he will make time for you, and will not try to squeeze you into that gap when he has nothing to do.

Be with the man who shows interest, who doesn't make you doubt or rack your brains, and who will prioritize you.

Of course, loneliness is difficult, but waiting for someone who is not interested in you can be even more painful. Let time do its job. And while you are waiting for him, love yourself with all your heart so that a truly brave man wants to pursue you.

In relations between a woman and a man, it happens that a woman is indifferent to a man, but she does not notice this, considering it a temporary phenomenon. Nevertheless, the situation does not change and at some point the relationship is simply interrupted at the initiative of the man.

Why is this happening and how to reveal the indifference of a young person towards himself even in the early stages of the development of relations? Let's figure it out.

So, let's start with the fact that every man needs a sexual discharge, so he tries to find a suitable partner for himself. Moreover, he does this initially out of animal motives, so to speak, and only then, if a woman is good in this regard, he begins to look closely at her and seek other important features.

However, it also happens in another way. For example, a young man, looking for a partner suitable by all his standards, does not find one, but is looking for his way out anyway. Then a man becomes close to a woman who does not meet his standards, but is more or less suitable for temporary pleasures. And he actively uses it, but the woman sometimes does not even know about it.

It happens like this. A woman, trying to please her boyfriend, indulges him in every possible way, gives gifts, smiles and affection. He behaves neutral, humble thanks and nothing in return. Having met and received what he needed, he again disappears without a trace, does not call, is not interested and does not show any attempts to develop further prospects in the relationship.

Naturally, on the one hand, such an attitude upsets a woman, and she, being in love with a young man, herself looks for him thousands of excuses for why this is happening. But the situation does not change over time and everything repeats itself over and over again, although it seems that there are all the prerequisites for creating a normal family and a woman has all the necessary qualities of a good wife.

The whole reason is that no matter how good this woman is, she does not have what this guy needs, something that he is looking for in his. Moreover, it can be anything, from bust and height, to lifestyle and individual principles.

I must say right away that it is not necessary to remake and marry such guys by force, nothing good will come of this, except for disappointment and a final divorce. Therefore, pay attention to all the little things immediately.

Namely:

If a person does not call you, referring to being busy, this indicates that he has enough time for other things, and you do not fit into his plans.

If you give a man gifts, and he perceives them coldly and without enthusiasm, then he does not need either you or your gifts, stop spending money on him, he will not appreciate it anyway, and you will be terribly offended.

If he allows you to discuss with your friends his past exploits of love, then this also speaks not in your favor, and does not respect, uses.

If he refuses to be alone with you, without bed games, then he only needs this, and not everything that you want.

If he avoids meeting relatives or changes the topic of this to another, it means that his plans do not include the continuation of your relationship and they are temporary.

If a young man does not react to any of your grievances and continues to repeat them, then you are indifferent to him.

If he flirts and flirts with other girls or women in front of you, then he would not mind changing you for them.

If he does not share with you his experiences, fears, actions, then there is no proper psychological closeness between you.

If a man openly treats you under the name of a friend, then you are just a friend for him, nothing more.

If he does not respond to your complaints, saying that everything is nonsense, and tries to put everything on you. That responsibility for your relationship, he is already ready to charge you, and when it is convenient for him, he will tear them apart, accusing you again.